In the first part of this series, we started talking about how "learned helplessness" has held a lot of people down; stopping them to achieve their dreams and break free from negative beliefs, emotions and habits.
In this part of the series, we shall focus on the three pillars of learned helplessness. Dr Martin Seligman of the university of Pennsylvania has done intensive research on what creates learned helplessness and in his book "Learned Optimism" he reports on three specific patterns of belief that cause learned helplessness- Permanence, Perversiveness and Personal.
People who have entered the learned helplessness zone are people who feel that their situation is permanent. They feel like they won't be able to break free from that habit or emotion no matter how much they try. They forget that nothing is really permanent, it just depends on the choices you're making.
Secondly, they also think that, that situation is pervasive; that is it affects every other area of their life. It is therefore not alien to hear these people say something like "I'm a failure" "I'm not going to be good enough" and so on. Even if they might be succeeding in another area of their life say their finances, they become blind to it thinking that their whole life is in a mess. But my dear friend, your whole life is not in a mess! If you check well, there are at least five things going on well for you- quote me wrong if you see less than five.
And lastly, they take their failures personal. Instead of seeing failure as an event, they see it as a function of their personality. Anthony Robbins said "If we don't see failure as a challenge to modify our approach, but rather as a problem with ourselves, as a personal defect, we will immediately feel overwhelmed". Stop relating every negative thing that happens to you to that habit or emotion- detach yourself! You're not your habit neither are you that emotion- you are you just having challenges in that area. Do you get this? I'm sure you do.
As a drop my pen, I want you to make a decision to believe in yourself once again to change. I want you to never give up on yourself no matter what! I know you might be asking how the change would come because you most likely have tried all you know in the past and nothing worked. But even the best of therapists can do little or nothing if you don't bring your believe to the table- in fact, helping you to believe in yourself once again is therapeutic on its own and can just be the joker that you need.
Never forget that I'm here if you need to talk
I value you!
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