I was having a chat with someone sometime last week and in between the chat,the person said "make me happy" and I was like seriously! Don't bother to ask how the chat ended but that statement got me thinking; if I can make you happy,it means I can also make you sad. And that's just an extension of how many of us have put our happiness in someone else's pocket- so we get angry when they want us to and become happy at their own volition. But this can drain your self esteem especially when you're surrounded with people who are negative.
And please don't get me wrong. A research showed that 80% of our entire happiness is determined by our relationships. But then I think your ultimate happiness should be in your hands and we should be able to regulate our state and mood consciously even if it will mean to change our association.
Even as a married (wo)man,its important you different your role and your identity and learn how to switch roles to keep your self in a happy state. So when your spouse attacks your role you can switch to your identity and when your identity is attacked you can switch to your role. But as much as possible don't put your entire happiness in the hands of anyone,in fact when they know that you have done so there might be tendency for manipulation. And that's why I tell people,if you're not happy single you can't be happy when you're double. Your individuality is a serious prerequisite for relationship/marriage.
Marriage won't make you happy
Money won't make you ultimately happy
Own your happiness. Be in charge of your own happiness.
Learn to use the power of vocabulary to change your mood- your words have a lot of power in the regulation of your mood. For instance the intensity of feeling you have when you say "I'm furious" and when you say "I'm peeved" are different. That's the power of words.
You can also change your physiological state to change your psychological state- your body language can change how you feel.
And finally for today,make sure your association is a positive one and not a toxic one.
I value you
No comments:
Post a Comment